When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Siren's Song
Saturday, January 24, 2004
I can't get to sleep. Plagued by an inexplicable and unknown fear and numbed by anxiety and helplessness, I'm afraid of something I don't even have a name for.
Spiked. Something's gripping my heart. Something's hammering down on the diligent soft pink muscles with a club studded with venom-dripping spikes.
I look around me. This feels like home, yet it's not quite home. Recently, I feel strangely out of place everywhere I go. Then again, when have I truly belonged to anywhere? I am nobody. Nobody is me.
Sliding. I wonder how Jonas felt when he slid down the whale's throat. Did he feel like what I'm feeling now? A sensation of being swallowed whole, down a warm wet squishy dark channel, not knowing where or when the journey will end.
Do I hallucinate? Perhaps. Not in the way most people do though. My body sends me strange signals. I feel strange things.
Strange. Strangely, I've used the word "strange" repeatedly. Tonight is indeed a strange night.
Wake up darling. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Why can't you wake up, silly Jimmie?
Wait a minute, didn't I say I can't get to sleep? Doesn't that mean I'm awake? So Why should I wake up? Who's trying to wake me up? Why should anyone care whether I'm awake or not?
